to be honest, im not doing that well in life right now. for all my life ive been dealing with an abrasive, controlling, and emotionally absent parent. a bully as a parent basically. its had a large negative impact on my life, and now its really getting to a boiling point. its hard to ever be positive when you have such a negative presence over you every single day. said parent has rarely ever been positive about anything, unless it was sarcasm, or putting on an act for strangers.
my goal now is to just get away from them, forever. move far away to a place where they cant follow me, and never reach out to them again. its not like i will ever have a reason to keep in touch with them- because theyve had little to no meaningful impact on my life whatsoever. theres just no point in keeping a person like that around. staying out of touch with a toxic parent should be no different from not talking to a random person that treats you badly. things have slowly been falling into place little by little when it comes to this goal. and while im glad that im getting somewhere, i wish that it would just hurry up so i can finally get out of this situation. hopefully by the end of 2024 i can start seeing some more progress.
big changes approaching
i applied for a job at the end of last month and actually g o t it. i was so shocked about that because for a full year and a couple months i have been really out of luck with job offers. getting a job since i first started searching last year felt insanely impossible. every application turned into getting ghosted or getting nothing but rejection emails and that lead to me feeling super demotivated each time. it was a TERRIBLE experience to say the least. but..i actually got a real job offer this time. the first day of work was already confirmed and everything and all i had to do was a few more pre hire steps
before my first day, which ive been doing here and there. im pretty excited for this but im also upset because i got a garbage job schedule and i think about how much it sucks every other day. but at least i have the job at the end of the day ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
moving
earlier in the week i found out that my family would have to relocate a month from now because of circumstances, and i couldnt be happier. to summarize things, i r e a l l y dont like my current living space, and ive hated it for a while. tbh i never thought that id ever be leaving it, especially not any time soon. i could say that im hyped about finally getting out of here and i am, but im really just shocked about something so big happening to me after the longest time. im ready to welcome a new chapter of my life! 